My head is running with hundreds of thoughts, some good others bad. I am feeling very disapointed in myself, I feel like I could be doing a lot better in many aspects of my life. But yet I am not sure that I want to change. What I wish is that I could start my whole life over again. Believe me I would not be the person who I am today. (Im sure many of you wish that could happen to me to). I am feeling myself fall into this somewhat "depressed" mood. I am starting to contradict some of my core beliefs and values. I am starting to contradict so many things my whole out look on life. So many things are changing in my life right now, so many people are changing right in front of my eyes and I am just not ready to change with them. But you see not changing is forcing me to be left behind. Last year I thought that I had found the real me, my place in life. But know all of that is gone and I feel unwanted, unliked, and worthless. I am begining to see the evils in the world are not just in "big" cities, but right in my neighborhood. Right in the house of my best friends. How unfair life is to some people that deserve only the best. Another thing that I have been trying to fight is the feeling that friends are supposed to be perfect and understand what I am feeling. But I have the best thing nexy to perfect. My friends are great and that has been proven many times this week. I want to give a BIG thank you to all of my friends and putting up with me for as long as they have. I only wish that I could be as good of a friend as they are to me.

Labels: School friends

another sweetest escape
Wednesday, November 14, 2007