You know what I am looking forward to? Figuring out who I am. I am so confused right now, I don't know what I am or who I am, everything is just so confusing. What do I want in life? Nothing makes sense anymore, things I thought I was destined to do are slowly becoming more obvious that I am not meant to do them. I honestly thought that I was called to do music, that my career would some how revolve around music. But when I was told I couldn't do band, and when music camp looks nearly impossible for this year. I gave up. You may say I give up too easily, or that I am want things to come to me to easily. But that is not how it is, I just don't want to fight for something that I will regret in a few years.
Also in my life lately I am learning that you can't trust anyone, and that you don't always want the truth, cause man it can hurt. I have had multiple examples of these things in the last few weeks. I have also had a really good thought a few weeks ago concerning someone who at that point was one of my best friends. The thing was that she always is sucking up to people and complimenting them just so that they will never think one thing bad about her. She won't even go out for things that she isn't 100% confident that she is good at. She limits herself, I find this really sad and I honestly pity her. Things between her and I haven't been to great ever since I came upon this revelation, it just bugs me. And as J.D. figures out about Kim in one of my favorite episodes of Scrubs ™ She is trying to keep herself from getting hurt by keeping everyone at a distance, afraid to take risks. I knew that Scrubs ™ was good for something (Aha my mother was wrong).
I find that Scrubs is an amazing conversation starter and connects me with so many other Scrub fanatics. It is amazing! Like seriously there is this kid in one of my classes who I have known for years, and we never really got to know eachother, but then the other day he said John Dorian and there was a connnection. AMEN for Scrubs! Relationship started...and laugh giver. hehe.
Anyways other then that not much is going on in my life, I just got un-grounded, which was nice. Also softball starts in a few weeks which means funfunfun 0_o. Of course getting up to the mile isn't going to be all that much fun but after I am done with it it is over!

another sweetest escape
Monday, February 11, 2008